10:04 am - September 05, 2004
About face.
Have you ever met someone that has the potential to make your life absolutely amazing or screw you up permanently? It's an interesting concept. I keep waiting to see which way things are going to turn. We're hovering in the middle for the moment.
It's weird just how much I've cried since I've gotten here to college. And it's not because I miss home or anything like that. I don't, really. Last night just made me realize that I'm not living my life the way I was meant to. When you get told that everything you've done up to a certain point in your life isn't really what God would want...it's hard. And now I'm in the middle of a huge, conscious effort to change my life. That's so hard. But I have to try. I have to change.
Things have been pretty good here. Soccer went well. The kids aren't nearly as bad as Robert made them seem. They certainly have rough lives, and they're all very different from one another. I'm trying to learn names and figure out strengths and weaknesses. I led practice on Friday, and Robert said that they told him that I wasn't loud enough and I don't blow my whistle enough, yada yada yada. I don't know. That's just not me. And while I'm making a 180 degree change in my life, changing my soft-spoken nature is not something that needs to be changed in order to honor God more.
Last night, the Gammas minus Susan plus Brian went to the Hootie concert downtown, and it basically sucked. Drunk redneck Hoosiers are not my idea of a good night. Oh well. Jeannie brought 3 high school guys back to the dorm with her. She's crazy.
Today...I don't know what's going on. I think I might go to Circle Center with the two of them. And we can go and get massive discounts at American Eagle. So...we'll see. I think they're still at Mass right now. I should really take a shower so that when they come back, at least I can be ready to do something with them if they want.
I think if there's anyone that I really miss, it's Kim, Britt, Steve, and Bryan. Steve will be here next weekend, so I can make it through that. Bryan's planning a visit, too. Evan and Jake might come up here tomorrow, which would be great. But I really miss my girlfriends. When people ask about the semi-truck, the unicorn, and the turkey on my wall...it really makes me miss them. I'm so lucky to have such great friends. So let's focus on the positive.
Shower time! Huh!
Love Always,
Alison
